I hadn't always been like this
by HardcoreSparkleParty
Summary: It's Highschool, and Sam Winchester hasn't always been like this. He didn't even know about these types of things until it hit him. AU - LUCIFER/SAM - RATED M


The lanky, geeky kid who has the smokin mum (seriously, she set the whole nursery aflame along with herself). Dean had always hanged around him like they were the gayest-incestious couple that ever gayed. But that's not the point, everyone knew Sam as being geeky and lanky and sort-of a wallflower.

And all the popular boys wanted to keep him that invisible to the school, although a few couldn't help but swoon at his moosey-charms. Especially when he had dressed in that Sailor moon outfit that one Halloween-

"SAMMY! STOP MASTERBATING, WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR HIGH SCHOOL. AND IF WE'RE LATE I CAN'T HAVE MY LISA-CHATTY-CHATTY TIME."

"I'M NOT MASTERBATING, YOU NEVER UNDERSTAND ME DEAN! YOU NEVER TALK TO HER, YOU JUST STAND THERE CREEPILY STARING AT HER LIKE THAT CASS DUDE DOES TO YOUR BUTT."

"OH, BUT HE'S ALLOWED, HIS VOICE REMINDS ME OF THAT DRUGGED UP HOOKER DAD BOUGHT ME ONCE. HER NAME WAS SPARKLY-TITS. ANYWAY, HURRY UP AND GET OUT HERE YOU DICK- OH DEAR LORD SAMMY"

Stood there, was Sam Winchester.

Not in his geeky attire.

Not in his sparkly slutty dress.

NOT EVEN IN HIS BIRTHDAY SUIT.

But a fish-net top, which showed off his womanly, perky nipples and a pair of short shorts that had 'Emo' stitched on his butt, the shorts didn't even fit him properly and half of his butt was on show. And he had managed to dye his hair within the 20 minutes he had been in there.

"Dean, I woke up last night after Gabriel had finished spanking me with a green salmon he found on the street pavement. And that's when I realised I was emo." he stated, flicking his hair back like the fabulous man he was. Dean noted this and mentally agreed that he was a fabulous man.

Dean's eyebrows furrowed until they knitted together and got stuck, Dean temporarily panicked before turning his attention back to problem #1: Sammy

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME DEAN. REMEMBER THAT TIME I WANTED TO BE A TOILET SEAT AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS BEING STUPID. ALL MY LIFE I WANTED TO FEEL MEN'S BUMS AND MY MOOSEYFACE BUT NO- NO. IT'S TOO BAD OF A LIVING FOR DEAN WINCHESTER AND HIS GRANDAD BUTT."

"DON'T MENTION MY GRANDAD BUTT. YOU BAKA" and then, that's where the real drama happened. Dean had let out his kawaii again, which could only mean that he had been watching boku no pico again. Sam cried like the fairy princess of elfijodjso and then ran out the room and then all the way to Lucifer's house where there was a wicked party happening

Lucifer wlecomed Sammy into his house and sat him down on one of his man-slaves he had. The man slave didn't mind Sam sitting on him because Sam was extra pretty today, pretty like Bella out od Beauty and the Beast mixed with Edward Cullen out of his favourite manga: Twilight.

Lucifer, the fat cunt he was, sat on his mummy's lap and suckled his thumb.

"so what's troubiling you Sammy?"

"I'm a emo and Dean doesn't understand."

and then Lucifer frowned deeply, the corners of his mouth nearly reaching into hell itself. He knew what it felt like for his brothers to not... understand. He grasped Sammy's arms from across the room and whispered very loudly to him.

"that's the life of a emo. we need to find an aeroplane and fart into the sunset together. i have love for you. and i know you want my pee-pee so we cool togethr, yo."

sam gasped, hands travelling up the walls and then to his face

"let's go then." he shouted sweetly.

and then the two men jumped on lucifer's manslave and ran off into hell where they made babies and eventually, like a woman-spider, Sammy bit off Lucifer's head and took over hell, which he renamed emo palace.

and dean then decided to turn emo too since cass and lisa were down there being emo already when they heard about the emo palace. sammy made all the popular boys his manslaves to their fortune .

the end

* * *

Dramatic reading: post/40193714271/http-www-fanfiction-net-s-8895171-1-i-hadn-t-alwa


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